Justine (krazy4gandalf) wrote,
Justine
krazy4gandalf

"The Strike" has to be one of the best Seinfeld episodes of all time. The script and the actual episode are just so goddamn good. It has 'denim vest' in it, the "human fund," Festivus, the H&H bagel strike, the two-face. It's fucking FILLED with greatness!

you should all read the script if you need a laugh. goddamnit, it's so good.
http://www.stanthecaddy.com/the-strike-script.html <-------------------------

choice quotes:

ELAINE: Nice vest. I like the.. big metal buttons.
DENIM VEST: They're snaps. Listen, maybe we should, uh, go out some time?
------------------

GEORGE: I got him Yankee's tickets! He got me a piece of paper saying "I've given your gift to someone else!"
JERRY: To a children's charity!
GEORGE: Don't you see how wrong that is?! Where's your Christmas spirit? An eye for an eye!
------------------

ELAINE: Oh, I can't believe it! I've lost my "Atomic Sub" card!.. Oh no! I bet I wrote that fake number on the back of it when I gave it to denim vest!
JERRY: So?
ELAINE: I've eaten 23 bad subs, I just need 1 more! It's like a long, bad movie, but you want to see the end of it!
JERRY: No, you walk out.
ELAINE: Alright, then, it's like a boring book, but you gotta finish it.
JERRY: No, you wait for the movie!
ELAINE: (Irritated, and through clinched teeth) I want that free sub.
JERRY: You don't need the card. High-end hoagie outfit like that, it's all computerized! (Snaps) They're cloning sheep now.
KRAMER: (Correcting) No, they're not cloning sheep. It's the same sheep! I saw Harry Blackstone do that trick with two goats and a handkerchief on the old Dean Martin show!
JERRY: So, why don't you just try your blow-off number and see if he's called it?
ELAINE: That's a good idea.
(Kramer's cordless phone rings, startling him. He digs through his coat, and pulls it out of the pocket)
KRAMER: (Answering phone) Yeah, Go! Wha.. really? Yeah, ok. Yeah! Bye. (Hangs up) Great news! Yeah, the strike has been settled. I'm going back to work.
JERRY: What strike?
KRAMER: Yeah, H&H Bagels. That's where I worked.
JERRY: You?
ELAINE: Worked?
JERRY: Bagels?
KRAMER: Yeah. Look, see. I still have my business card. (Pulls it out, hands it to Elaine) Yeah, we've been on strike for 12 years.
ELAINE: Oh, I remember seeing those guys picketing out there, but I haven't seen them in a long time.
KRAMER: Yeah, well, H&H wouldn't let us use their bathroom while we were picketing. It put a cramp on our solidarity.
ELAINE: What were your.. demands?
KRAMER: Yeah, 5.35 an hour. And that's what they're paying now.
ELAINE: I believe that's the new minimum wage.
KRAMER: Now you know who to thank for that!.. Alright, I've got to go. (Heads for the door)
JERRY: Why didn't you ever mention this?
KRAMER: Jerry, I didn't want you to know I was out of work. It's embarrassing! (Leaves)
---------------------

GEORGE: Hey, check this out. I gotta give out Christmas presents to everyone down at Kruger, so I'm pulling a Whatley. (Give a Christmas card to Jerry)
JERRY: (Reading it) "A donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund." - What is that?
GEORGE: (With pride) Made it up.
JERRY: (Continuing reading) "The Human Fund. Money for people."
GEORGE: What do you think?
JERRY: It has a certain understated stupidity.
---------------------

FRANK: And at the Festivus dinner, you gather your family around, and you tell them all the ways they have disappointed you over the past year.
KRAMER: Is there a tree?
FRANK: No. Instead, there's a pole. It requires no decoration. I find tinsel distracting.
KRAMER: Frank, this new holiday of yours is scratching me right where I itch.
FRANK: Let's do it then! Festivus is back! I'll get the pole out of the crawl space. (Turns to leave, meets up with Elaine)
ELAINE: Hello, Frank.
FRANK: Hello, woman. (leaves)
----------------------

KRUGER: George, I got something for you. (Pulls a check from his pocket) I'm supposed to find a charity and throw some of the company's money at it. They all seem the same to me, so, what's the difference? (Hands the check to George)
GEORGE: 20 thousand dollars?
KRUGER: Made out to the Human Fund. (Tries to enter his office, but it's locked) Oh, damn. I've locked myself out of my office again. Oh well. I'm going home.
----------------------

ELAINE: Kramer, the vest just called.
KRAMER: (Shocked by the way Elaine looks) Yama - Hama! It's fright night!
----------------------

alright, so i just quoted like half the episode. gimme a break. it's AMAZING!

ghdsohgdshgdahgdasihg

must do work.
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